Stanley Kubrick’s 1987 cult-classic, “Full Metal Jacket” was a brilliant piece of work. It nicely encapsulates the maddening experiences of the military, and war. For better or for worse, war changes a man, and there is no way to escape that reality. Anyone who witnesses the horrors and triumphs of war cannot possibly expect to walk away from the experience unchanged.

My experience in Afghanistan completely changed my own outlook on the world and life. In Afghanistan I discovered what real poverty, and true desperation really is. I saw grown men cry, I sent friends home to their families in boxes. I saw the results of people who believe in absolutes, and follow the most extreme form of a religion zealously. I witnessed men do unspeakable, and horrifying things to other men, and rationalize it with expressions like “war is hell” or celebrate it with “Allahu Akbar”.

When I left Afghanistan I knew, with a good deal of certainty that I was in “a world of shit”, but I also knew I was not alone, and I was not afraid, for I had grown stronger from the experience. I learned more about life, the world and myself in Afghanistan than anyone ever could in any school, from any parent, or even by reading all of the world’s philosophy. I had seen the best and worst man had to offer his fellow man, and it changed me. I left that desolate country in relative peace, with a strangely calm mind, and with no fear in my heart.

Since I have been home, things have changed. Now, 3 years after returning home, I am left with a continuously empty feeling of a job left unfinished. I hear stories about those who have returned, and I desperately wish to join them, though I also do not want to leave those I love. My mind is not so calm any more. I find it difficult to concentrate, I find it difficult to rationalize the mundane drudgery of day-to-day life in the relative comfort of modern America. I have discovered that I am in a world of shit, and I am full of fear. No longer do I have the bond of brotherhood and camaraderie that was forged by shared hardship in a world where anything may kill you. No longer do I have the peace of mind knowing that no matter what happens tomorrow, I can count on the man to the left and to the right of me to do everything in their power to ensure we all make it home together. No longer am I living in a world of absolutes. Only now that I have rotated back to the real world do I realize that I am in a world of constant uncertainty and moral ambiguity. I live in a selfish, shallow world of politics and people who are only looking out for themselves, and I am afraid. I find it hard for my mind to find peace in this world.

I can not find peace, because I cannot find others who seem to truly understand, or who share similar values. No, in this strange new world of home, people are shallow and selfish, obsessed with material things and meaningless pageantry. No one is willing to make a sacrifice for anything. Suddenly, I feel terribly, horrifyingly alone, without the peaceful, loving bond of my brothers-in-arms, and I just don’t know if I have the strength to make it. I find it hard to find the motivation or reasons to forge ahead, but I do. I keep going because that’s what we were trained to do… to keep going, and to survive, even in the face of abject fear.

Memorial is commonly thought of as a day for barbecues and whites sales at Macy’s. It’s a day off from work, and the start of the summer season. Public Pools usually open up on this weekend, and people take their families to the beach.

But it is important that each of us take just one moment today to think about those who are not with us, because they surrendered their life, that we may have our freedom. If you have kids, you should take a few moments to discuss the meaning of the Memorial Day holiday with them, and explain why they should be thankful that so many were willing to make the ultimate sacrifice, so others would not.

The United States has seen more than it’s fair share of wars and battles, and each one of those has had it’s heroes, and those are the men and women who we proudly remember  and honor on this day, the ones who never came home. People like my friend, Tobias Meister, who gave his life in Afghanistan. He was a Civil Affairs soldier, and lost his life on a Humanitarian mission, what could be more selfless?

First Sergeant Tobias Meister, United States Army

First Sergeant Meister was a kind and fun loving man, a devoted husband, and a new father to a beautiful baby boy when he lost his life. Though he was remarkably young, he had rocketed through the ranks to become a First Sergeant (E-8), and he was an inspiration to all who had the pleasure to know and to work with him. It is on this day, that we give thanks to him, and all those before and since who have made the ultimate sacrifice, on our behalf.

All gave some, some gave ALL

The Secretary of Defense has made it clear that he believes a down-sizing of the Navy is part of the plan for being able to sustain our military efforts in the near future. Personally, I agree with him. Which may come as a surprise considering the fact that I am a U.S. Navy Chief, but the fact of the matter is the Navy is expensive, and much of it is antiquated. When is the last time the Marines made a real amphibious assault? Hell, when is the last time a Marine has even set foot on a ship? The face of combat is changing, and the military must change with it. The future of the U.S. Navy is not in blue water. The future of the U.S. Navy lies in brown water, rivers and the littorals.

Part of the new strategy for the Navy will involve increased reliance on unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs). With that in mind, two San Diego County defense contractors are hustling to develop a new generation of comparatively inexpensive, UAVs in in response to Defense Secretary Robert Gates’ call for a less costly naval arsenal.

Secretary Gates said the military needs to re-examine whether it can afford so many aircraft carriers and submarines when more money is needed to underwrite the Army and Marine Corps.

It makes sense that we should divert greater resources to the Army and Marine Corps, which are leading the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, while the Navy is playing a supporting role. The Navy already has long-term plans to slightly downsize its fleet, including the decommissioning of all of the remaining Oliver Hazard Perry class frigates.

“The secretary took the Navy to the woodshed, telling them that the future will look far different than the past, and that means more UAVs,” said John Pike, a defense analyst at GlobalSecurity.org in Alexandria, Va.

Northrop Grumman recently announced it will team up with Bell Helicopter to develop “Fire X“, a more robust version of the Fire Scout, a tactical UAV that’s designed to take off and land vertically.

“Fire X would be able to fly for 14-plus hours and carry about 3,000 pounds of sensors,” said Brooks McKinney, a Northrop spokesman. “Fire Scout can stay up five to seven hours and carry 600 pounds of sensors” for surveying and other reconnaissance activity.

“We’re going to put together a single demonstration vehicle with Bell, and hope to get business from the military,” McKinney said.

Northrop Grumman could face competition from General Atomics Aeronautical Systems of Poway, which says it will develop the Sea Avenger, a derivative of its well-known Predator C drone.

A Predator C costs $12 million to $15 million, making it far less costly than the estimated $41 million F/A-18 Hornet jet fighter that is widely used by the Navy and Marines.

Both firms likely will have to contend with Boeing, which has long had a military-oriented UAV program.

“The military has to get costs down,” Pike said. He was referring in particular to the F-35 jet fighter, some of which will be stationed at Miramar Marine Corps Air Station. “The F-35 will cost $100 million to $150 million — 10 times the cost of the Predator. Operating a manned aircraft requires an enormous cast of people.”

The way ahead is not yet clear, but it is certain to be interesting.

Colonel Lawrence Wilkerson, former Chief of Staff to Secretary of State Colin Powell, gives a great explanation of how we went from the war on Terrorism to Tyranny under the Bush Administration. The video is interesting and deeply insightful and perfectly mirrors my own opinions and experience.

“I can’t tell you why the French, the Germans, the Brits and us thought that most of the material, if not all of it, that we presented at the U.N. on 5 February 2003 was the truth” -Colonel Lawrence Wilkerson, New America Foundation, October 19 2005

“…. You compare Bill Clinton’s peccadilloes for which he was impeached to George Bush’s high crimes and misdemeanors or Dick Cheney’s high crimes and misdemeanors, and I think they pale in significance.” -Colonel Lawrence Wilkerson

It’s official, all of my past posts have been migrated to the new server, and the entire blog is now running on WordPress vice b2Evolution. b2Evolution is a fine blogging engine, but I find WordPress to have better overall support and more extensions. Additionally with the new software and the new server, I believe everyone should experience a much faster and over all better blog. Additionally, I also obviously also updated the site appearance and layout. I think the new look is more streamlined, and is a better representation of the content of the blog. What do you think?

Finally, unfortunately, I had to migrate all of my posts by hand, one at a time, and so I essentially lost all of the old comments lost on my posts, there were thousands, and I simply did not have the time or patience to move them all over. I tried several scripts and hacks to try to automate the blog migration, but all of them were buggy at best. If someone out there knows a way I could restore those comments to the new blog, please let me know. Otherwise, please continue to post comments on my new posts, and even my old ones. Your comments are deeply appreciated, and I don’t want anyone to think that I eliminated the old comments as some form of censorship. That’s just not my style.

After having some trouble with my old domain host and registrar I was able to finally successfully move the site to it’s new domain host (GoDaddy). I figured this would be a good time to upgrade to a better blog engine as well. To you the end user this means a fancy new interface, and hopefully better overall site performance. To me, the blogger, it means a lot of work.

There are all sorts of scripts and nifty bits of code that are supposed to make the process of moving from one blog engine (b2evolution) to another (WordPress) easy and automated, but they all seem to have their own quirks, and since I am also migrating from one server to the other, I figured the best way to handle my migration is to do it all by hand, that way I can ensure there are no broken links, or missing graphics.

So with that in mind, I hope you will bear with me. I am hoping I will be able to migrate all of my old posts this weekend, doing my best to ensure they have the proper original dates and such. So please keep checking back and hopefully the site will be back to 100% soon!

The video below was one of my presents to my girlfriend Nora this year. She loved it, and I am pretty sure her folks did too… It’s like a digital scrap book of the last year of our lives together.