It seems impossible to believe it now. It’s been more than 2 years since I have been home from Afghanistan. I still think about it everyday. Everyday I read more and more about the men and women that are still over there fighting and busting their asses. For two years I have been enjoying the luxuries of home. While it is true that I have done another deployment in that time, it simply doesn’t compare to my time on the ground. I’ve become a non-hacker, but in my heart I know I still pack the gear to get the job done, and I know I could be doing a lot more than I am. I don’t feel like I am pulling my own weight.

I have had a lot of great opportunities to help sailors, and to do a lot of great things for the Navy. And I do love the fact that I have gotten to spend a lot of quality time with family and friends. But none of that makes the feeling subside. None of that can silence the voice constantly reminding me that there are still men over there fighting, and dying, while I am here at home surfing the internet and watching Judge Judy.

Life is a funny thing. While I was over there all I wanted to do was to get home, now that I am home all I seem to want to do is go back. Deep inside, I know that what I really want is for all my brothers and sisters in-arms to come home. I want us to successfully complete our mission, and come home so we can all get on with our lives. I know that I will never be able to get on with my life, until all my brothers and sisters can get on with theirs as well. How can I go on in the day-to-day, knowing that my family, my truest family, is over there fighting, while I am sitting on the bench… getting weak.